Jellybones
by risokura
Summary: I wasn't getting any sleep tonight, I knew I wasn't. And you wanna know why? Because I was stuck in a tent with Fang and Lightning tonight. FangLightning


**Disclaimer: **I don't own FFXIII.

**A/N: **Been a while since I wrote something lighthearted, cracky and fun. Here we go.

**Jellybones**

I wasn't getting any sleep tonight, I knew I wasn't.

And you wanna know why? Because I was stuck in a tent with Fang and Lightning tonight.

We have a system based on rotation for guard durty. One person will usually start out, often at random and they'll stand guard for about four hours or so. Someone will then join them out on the post for a little while and then the first person who was standing guard can retire and get some rest.

The person left behind stands guard, and then another person will come and the cycle continues. We made it this way so that whoever was standing guard the night before can rest up and catch some sleep on the next night over. I don't know what happened, but _Fang _should have been the first person standing guard tonight, along with Snow and Hope. Knowing her, though, she probably pulled a fast one on Snow and got the order all screwed up.

It didn't bother me that she in the tent with us that night. Why would it given our history together? It was more or less … I didn't want to be confined to a space with Lightning and Fang.

And you know why? Because Lightning has a huge crush on Fang.

Not to say that Fang isn't somewhat interested in Light, I always know when Fang is interested in someone. Never mind the fact that she tends to wear her heart on her sleeve, or lack thereof, I just **know**. She gets a bit quiet, a bit reclusive so to speak. And she _never _stops smiling. She'll be doing something, and out of the blue—**HELLO**—this big smile will just come to her face out of nowhere. And when you ask her about it, she'll run around your questions and start teasing you instead of giving you an answer.

As for Lightning … she's a hard one to read but I've come to notice the way she treats Fang as to how she deals with the rest of us is different. As our leader it's her job to look out for everyone's best interest … but in Fang … I think she kind of looks up to her …or appreciates her opinion in some way. She won't say it, but she'll ask Fang something about Gran Pulse and when Fang gives her an answer she gets this glazed eye in her look like she's listening but not wholly there. She always seems to give Fang her full attention when the two are interacting with each other. The two of them are actually kind of cute, sometimes.

Fang's noticed it, too. She'll go—_Watch this, Van—_and then she'll saunter off in Lightning's direction taking extra care to put a little more sway in her hips, as she walks. Or she'll get _realllyyy _close, (Fang has a hard time understanding personal boundaries) and Lightning looks like she's on the verge of hyperventilating from the closeness of their proximity. It's terrible how much Fang teases her, but … a little bit entertaining if I say so myself.

Not to say that Lightning doesn't fight back …except, she was more violent in manner. And for some sick reason, Fang _completely _got off on that. The two of them were so obstinate that when they engaged in these 'sparring matches' as they had been so lightly dubbed, half the time someone had to watch them to make sure they didn't beat the other into a bloody pulp. Fang once told me that attraction is synonymous with brutality in her book. …Fang's a bit …_off _at times, but she's always been that way. …But it doesn't mean I worry any less about her sanity at times.

I still love her regardless, though.

I've noticed chemistry between the two of them, especially when in the heat of battle. Lightning will pull back into the defense; Fang will rush forward into an offense. Fang will switch into loading the enemy down with debuffs; Lightning might switch up and start buffing up the party. If Fang goes on guard, Lightning is right there healing everyone before the next barrage of attacks. Whatever strategy one of them might switch to, the other anticipates this and follows accordingly. If I get put into a party with the two of them, sometimes I might just sit back and watch them go at it. It's like I'm not even there at times. I suppose it's helpful in a way. Fang being there seems to lighten Lightning's load a bit more and I think she needs that at times. She doesn't like to show it and she'll never admit it, but I know she needs more of our help than she let's on.

You know, it's kind of cute in a way. Fang is so unbridled with her emotions and let's on how she's feeling right off the bat. Light is so reserved and quiet that you never quite know what she's thinking or what she wants. It reminds me of this old saying back in Oerba. _A thorn defends the rose, harming only those who would steal the blossom. _On the outside, she's perceived to be prickly and she'll protect herself against anything …but given the right provocation, she'll open up; unfurl herself to whoever tempts her. I suppose that's why things happened the way they did on that night … in the tent … with Fang and Lightning.

Oh, that night.

Snow was on guard duty and Fang had slowly, but steadily made her way to the woman's tent. I was already falling asleep, but Lightning seemed to be having some trouble getting there. Actually, ever since we'd returned to Gran Pulse, she'd been having trouble sleeping. I don't know if it was nerves, the new environment or what, but no matter how tired she got during the day, she never appeared to want to sleep.

Luckily, I was able to find some _matricaria recutita_ leaves and I brewed a small serving of tea before we went to sleep. Matron used to do it all the time for me back when I had just come to the orphanage and couldn't sleep. (This was before I invaded Fang's bed and found that I fell asleep a lot more easily when I slept with her.)

I had fallen asleep on the farthest edge of the tent so that Fang could have the space right by the flap and she wouldn't have to climb over either of us. Lightning … was in the middle. I don't know why, but she insisted on having the middle when I said I would take it previously. If I think back to it _now_, I can think of a pretty obvious answer as to why she wanted that spot.

The last thing I remembered was Fang entering the tent, sighing as she closed up the flap and then collapsing heavily onto the ground. I could smell her scent—wilderness, rain and the outside wafting close to my nose. She's always smelled like that, and it's been stuck in my memories of her ever since we were kids.

As I was slipping into unconsciousness, the only thing I managed to catch was Fang asking Lightning what she was drinking. Lightning's voice was low and she sounded tired so I couldn't quite make out her reply. I think she was getting sleepy from the sound of it. Fang's laughter faded into the background and the rest of their conversation was lost as I faded into slumber.

That was … until I woke up to a whimper. And it wasn't like … one of those whimpers you might encounter when someone's having a nightmare or something. This whimper sounded a lot more awake and … _sensual. _I lay awake for a little while seeing if I'd hear it again, but I didn't. Just as I closed my eyes, I heard it again.

This time it was followed by hushed whispering. Deep, accented and sultry. Fang. _Va … wake up … quiet, yeah? _Was all I could catch. I thought at first that maybe one of them was dreaming or something. You know, talking in their sleep? At least, that's what I had hoped for. Keyword, hoped. I really wished I'd just kept my eyes close, or something. Just, gone back to sleep, really. I wish my curiosity didn't get the best of me. I wish I'd never turned over. And you wanna know why? Because I nearly froze at what I just saw.

Lightning was turned on her side toward Fang, and Fang currently had her arm thrown over Lightning's hips, and was pulling her in closer by the minute. They were awake, I could tell by the steady way Fang was steadily curling her fingers underneath Lightning's shirt and the way Lightning was speaking in a rushed, hushed tone.

_She's not gonna wake up, she sleeps through everything and anything. _

_It's still not right._

_She won't care. What? You want me to check and make sure she's not awake, hm? Will that make our fearless leader feel better?_

_Stop that. _

I'm not a prude in any way, but Fang is wrong about one thing. I _don't care_ who Fang has sex with, but I _do _about being in the vicinity of my adoptive sister's sexual exploits. Not to say that they were doing anything sexual just then, but I know Fang and I know she can move fast. Lightning … well, that's another story all together. She might give Fang a bit of a run for her money, from what I can tell. But still, with the way Fang's fingers were steadily curling under Lightning's shirt, I could tell where she wanted to go with whatever it was she was doing.

_Stop what? _

_We shouldn't be doing this._

_Oh, come off it gorgeous. How long are you going to make me wait? _

_Enough to make sure Vanille doesn't wake up, now stop. _

_You weren't saying that a few minutes ago. _

At that moment, I closed my eyes when I saw Fang beginning to shift her weight so she was now hovering over Lightning. I don't think she got very far because I heard the loud impact of a hand meeting skin and Fang cursing under her breath.

_Check_. _**Now.**_

_God, dammit, Light! Do you have to hit me for every bloody thing? _

I heard the rustle of clothing and then Fang mumbling something under her breath. A few seconds later I could smell her scent near me as she pulled back one of the flaps of the tent to let some moonlight in. She hovered over me for a brief moment to check my facial features for what seemed like forever. I tried to even my breathing out to be as convincing as possible and mumbled irritably when the light hit my face. She let it drop back and then made her way over to Lightning.

_Does that suffice? _

_Hn._

More rustling of clothing.

_I'll take that as a yes._

They were silent for a moment, speaking so low that I could barely hear either of them. But then I heard that whimper again. That _same _whimper that had woken me up and I knew they were at it again. And then Lightning … got kind of loud. Or rather, Lightning was loud. _Very _loud. I don't know what in the hell Fang was doing to her … actually, I know very well what Fang was doing. I just don't want to think about what Fang was doing.

_You're really going to wake her up if you don't quiet down._

She'd go quiet for all of two seconds before Fang did something that would make her yelp out in what sounded like pain, but I knew was so much more than that. Oh god, ew, ew, ew.

I really don't know how long it went on for. It felt like an eternity, to be honest. One minute, Fang was going at it with Light and then they'd take a break to check and make sure I was still asleep. After they were satisfied with their short break period, whoever was doing the screwing got flipped over and the other went to town. I even tried shifting position and sighing multiple times to let them know they may have possibly awakened me. They didn't seem to catch on. Fang was too into screwing Lightning's brains out, or Lightning screwing Fang's. Both were willing participants.

Finally, sometime around _sunrise_ the two of them decided they'd had enough and retired for the night. It didn't take Lightning long to fall asleep, Fang followed suit. It was ridiculous. The following morning I was nearly dead on my toes, but Lightning and Fang? The two of them looked like they could run the whole expanse of the Archylte Steppe in under three minutes. So much for Lightning being unable to sleep.

In the morning, while we were out on the Steppe doing some scouting work, Fang turned to me with the biggest grin on her face and asked me what was wrong.

_Didn't sleep well last night, eh, Vanille? _

I turned to look at her, then Lightning and then frowned. I'd let her _and _Lightning have it now so we weren't in for more fiasco's like last night, in the future.

_To be honest, I never knew Lightning could be so loud. _

It took Lightning's face three seconds to turn the same color as her hair and she looked absolutely mortified.

_You knew she was up, didn't you?_

Fang's eyes immediately lit up and she doubled over in laughter. Lightning took a moment to think before she reached her hand down for that odd sword contraption of hers, let it slide into place and then turned to Fang. Fang in turn looked up at her, tears in her eyes from laughing and started waving her hand at Lightning as if to tell her to put her weapon away. She immediately started running away as Lightning started off after her, probably hell bent on chasing her into the den of Adamanchelid not too far away. I just stood there watching the two of them from afar, wondering who would kill each other first.

Anyway, the moral of this story is the following: I was sleeping in the tent with the boys from now on. But you know, that might not be such a good idea, either. You know, with nocturnal emissions and all. I think I'll just ...sleep outside. Away from everyone else. No interruptions, no nocturnal emissions, no sex, just peace and quiet.

Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

A great plan, really.

_VANILLE! _

But, before I do that... I have to go make sure Lightning doesn't kill Fang first. 


End file.
